A Warning for Midlife Divorced Women: Heal Before You Date

As midlife divorced women, it’s essential to prioritise your healing journey before you consider entering the dating scene again. Attracting a genuinely good man requires self-awareness and emotional stability. If you don’t take the time to heal, you may inadvertently carry toxic behaviors into your next relationship, which can push away the very kind of man you desire.

Here are seven toxic behaviors to be mindful of, inspired by psychological insights. Recognising and addressing these traits can help you attract a healthy partner when you're ready to date again.

1. Disrespect

A genuinely good man values respect above all. Disrespectful behaviour—whether through belittling comments or dismissive attitudes—creates barriers in relationships. If you find yourself exhibiting disrespect, it’s crucial to reflect on why that is and work on self-acceptance. Remember, respect is foundational for trust and connection.

2. Dishonesty

Honesty is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. If you’ve struggled with being truthful in past relationships, it’s important to address this before dating again. Dishonesty breeds distrust, and a genuinely good man won’t tolerate it. Embrace transparency in your interactions, starting with yourself.

3. Lack of Empathy

Empathy is vital for meaningful connections. If you’ve felt indifferent to others’ struggles, consider how this may affect your future relationships. A good man looks for emotional understanding, so cultivating empathy can enhance your ability to connect with others authentically.

4. Constant Negativity

If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of negativity, it’s time for a change. Constant negativity can drain both you and those around you. Reflect on your outlook and work on cultivating a more positive mindset. A genuinely good man seeks joy and optimism, and he won’t engage with someone who radiates despair.

5. Emotional Manipulation

Recognizing any patterns of emotional manipulation in your past can be enlightening. This behavior distorts realities and creates confusion. A healthy relationship thrives on mutual respect, so it’s essential to acknowledge and eliminate any tendencies to manipulate emotions.

6. Excessive Self-Centeredness

While self-care is important, excessive self-centeredness can hinder meaningful relationships. If you often prioritize your needs over others, it’s time to reassess. A genuinely good man seeks a balanced partnership, where both individuals feel valued and heard.

7. Lack of Responsibility

Taking responsibility for your actions is crucial for personal growth. If you tend to blame others for your circumstances, this behavior can create a toxic environment in your relationships. A good man respects individuals who own their choices and learn from their experiences.

Heres some final reflections: Before diving back into dating, take the time to reflect on these insights. Healing isn’t just about moving on; it’s about understanding yourself and addressing any toxic behaviours that may arise from unresolved issues. The journey to self-discovery and emotional health is essential for attracting a genuinely good man who respects and values you.

Take this opportunity to work on yourself first. A healthier you will attract healthier relationships, ensuring that when you do decide to date, you’ll be ready for the love you deserve.

We believe so much in doing your own work before you date, we encourage the ladies we work with who aren’t already in a relationship to go on a man ban until they’re ready to date.

That’s what Kylie did and she’s just got married to her magnificent man who treats her with admiration and respect.

Of course all the traits above are also required of the man so it’s a balanced, co-created relationship. Emotionally healthy people will attract healthy partners.

Ready to break old patterns and attract a healthier love?
The best relationships start with the work you do on yourself.

💬 Book a free call with one of our Divorce Recovery Coaches and begin your journey to healing and wholeness before dating again:
👉 click HERE to book a free call.

With love and encouragement,
Fiona May
Women On Transition – Heal, Grow & Love after Separation or Divorce

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