One of the most challenging parts of separation or divorce isn’t the paperwork — it’s the ongoing emotional impact of staying connected to someone who once had access to your heart, your life, and your nervous system.

Whether you share children, finances, or simply a long history, learning how to set healthy boundaries with your ex is not optional — it’s essential.

And I want to be very clear about this:

You are allowed to protect your emotional wellbeing.

Boundaries are not about punishment, control, or shutting someone out. They are about creating safety, clarity, and emotional freedom so you can heal and move forward.

Why Boundaries Matter So Much After Divorce

After separation, emotions are often raw. Old dynamics can easily resurface, pulling you back into stress, self-doubt, or conflict.

Healthy boundaries create:
• Emotional safety
• Reduced conflict
• Clear expectations
• Space to heal

They are a form of self-respect — and they set the tone for your new life.

Get Clear on What You Will and Won’t Accept

Boundaries begin with self-honesty.

Ask yourself:
What drains me?
What triggers me?
What conversations leave me unsettled?
What behaviour am I no longer willing to tolerate?

Your boundaries might be emotional, conversational, logistical, or time-based. There is no “right” set — only what supports your healing.

Communicate Calmly and Clearly

Boundaries don’t need to be dramatic.

They need to be clear, calm, and firm.

Use “I” statements and focus on your needs rather than your ex’s behaviour:
“I’m not available to discuss our past relationship.”
“I’ll only communicate about the children during agreed times.”

You’re not asking for permission. You’re informing.

Consistency Is Where Boundaries Work

A boundary only works when it’s upheld.

Your ex may test it — especially if old patterns benefited them. Each time you calmly reinforce your boundary, you strengthen your self-trust and reduce emotional reactivity.

Boundaries are not negotiable explanations. They are decisions.

Set Clear Communication Limits

If constant contact unsettles you, reduce it.

If conversations spiral, redirect them.
If tone becomes disrespectful, disengage.

Especially in co-parenting situations, structure protects peace.

Release the Guilt

Many women feel guilty for setting boundaries — especially if they were conditioned to be accommodating, kind, or “easy to deal with.”

But boundaries are not cruelty.
They are clarity.

You are not responsible for managing your ex’s emotions — only your own wellbeing.

Expect Pushback — And Stay Grounded

Pushback doesn’t mean you’re wrong.
It means the dynamic is changing.

Stay calm. Stay consistent. Seek support if needed — especially when children are involved.

Boundaries Create Emotional Freedom

When you protect your energy, you create space for healing, confidence, and peace.

Boundaries are not walls.
They are gates — and you decide what gets through.

Your Next Steps

If you’re ready to reclaim your peace and reset unhealthy patterns:

1. Attend the RESET Your Life & Shine 3-Day Event
Learn how to set boundaries, regulate emotions, and rebuild self-trust.
👉 https://bit.ly/ryl-fs

2. Book a Coaching Call With Our Team
For personalised support navigating post-divorce boundaries.
👉 https://link.womenontransition.com/freecall

With love,
Fiona May