Hey there, lovely ladies! Let’s chat about something we are all facing or have been through - navigating the tricky waters after a relationship loss or a divorce.

It can feel like you’re stuck in this space between knowing what’s good for you and actually being able to do it. Let’s call this the Intent–Energy Gap.

Imagine standing on one side of a river. You can see the other side, where all the good things are—health, happiness, new adventure and maybe even a magnificent man. But the current is strong, and it is scary to get in the water as you fear being swept away by the current, snagged on a stick or scraped by the rocks, and the fear of this happening stops you from taking action. The fear is keeping you stuck and keeping you safe but it’s making you feel guilty or like you’re somehow failing.

I promise you, you’re not.

After a big emotional upheaval, it’s completely normal for your mental health to take a hit. Your body and mind are wired for survival, which often means your nervous system shifts into self-protection mode. It’s like your brain prioritises safety over what might help you grow. You might find yourself wanting to shut down when deep down, you know that taking action could lead to healing.

Here’s where a little gem from Dialectical Behavior Therapy comes in handy: it’s called Opposite Action. It’s pretty simple but incredibly powerful. When your emotions tell you to retreat, isolate, or give up, you do the opposite.

Let’s break it down with some relatable examples:

- Feeling like hiding away? Reach out to a friend. A simple text can open up a world of connection.

- Want to stay in bed all day? Try stretching for just five minutes. It’s a small step, but it can shift your energy.

- Feeling irritable and ready to snap? Take a moment to breathe and pause before reacting. That little moment can change everything.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “That sounds easy, but it’s not.” And you’re right. It takes awareness, effort, and a whole lot of self-compassion, especially when you’re feeling tired or overwhelmed. But here’s the thing: you don’t have to feel like doing it. You just have to start.

So, the next time you find yourself feeling stuck, I encourage you to try Opposite Action. Just pick one small thing to do differently. Start small and build from there. Remember, this journey isn’t linear. Some days you’ll feel empowered, and other days, well, you might feel like you’re back at square one. And that’s totally okay!

The key is to recognise that gap without shaming yourself for being in it. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s what matters.

So take care of your mind, body, and soul. You’re stronger than you think, and you’re not alone in this journey.

We teach these skills in our programs and hold your hand as you go on a personal development journey. If you are ready to improve your life, send me a message or book a free call here and we can have a chat about coaching.

With love and encouragement,

Fiona 💪🏼🙏🏼♥️