When a relationship fails it hurts. When you first meet someone the truth would have been you were attracted to each other and met each others needs. You will have filled each other up. You may have bonded over your brokenness however you loved each other.

The truth when a relationship fails is that it hurts us at our souls, we question why and often lay the blame on ourselves or our partner however relationships fail for a number of reasons.

It’s easy to think “the final straw” was the reason a marriage ends however it is never the case.

It’s more the years of neglect, the lack of connection, the inability to communicate and each other feeling misunderstood, unloved, unseen and taken advantage of that destroys marriages.

This article may help you as you go through your separation or divorce;

Healing After Divorce: Finding Hope and Understanding

Divorce can feel like the end of the world, but it can also be the beginning of a new chapter filled with hope and growth. As a divorce recovery coach, I often reflect on the journey couples take—from the initial spark of attraction to the painful realization that their relationship has ended.

The Spark of Attraction

When you first met, you were likely drawn to each other’s strengths, filling each other’s emotional needs. This connection may have been rooted in shared experiences, perhaps even bonding over personal struggles. In those early days, love flourished, and the world seemed full of possibilities.

The Truth of Today

However, the truth we face today is often marked by hurt and disappointment. A failed relationship can leave us questioning our worth and the choices we've made. It's tempting to point to a single event—the "final straw"—as the reason for the divorce. Yet, that's rarely the full picture.

Looking Beyond the Final Straw

In reality, the end of a marriage is usually the result of accumulated neglect and unresolved issues. Years of miscommunication, feelings of being misunderstood, and unmet needs can erode even the strongest bonds.

1. Neglect: Over time, it’s easy to take each other for granted. Life gets busy, and emotional connection can diminish, leaving both partners feeling alone.

2. Lack of Communication: Effective communication is crucial in any relationship. When partners stop sharing their feelings, frustrations grow, and misunderstandings multiply.

3. Feeling Unloved: It’s painful to feel as though your partner doesn’t see or appreciate you. This feeling can lead to resentment and distance, creating a cycle that’s hard to break.

Embracing the Healing Process

Understanding the complexities of your relationship can be a powerful step in the healing process. Here are some ways to move forward:

- Acknowledge Your Feelings: Allow yourself to feel sadness, anger, or confusion. These emotions are valid and part of the healing journey.

- Reflect on Lessons Learned: Each relationship teaches us something. Reflect on what you’ve learned about yourself and your needs.

- Focus on Self-Care: Prioritise your well-being, both physically and emotionally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

- Seek Support: Connecting with others who understand your journey can provide comfort and encouragement. Consider speaking with a divorce recovery coach who can help you grow the skills and tools required to reinvent yourself and create a new life.

Finding Hope

While the end of a marriage can feel devastating, it can also be a catalyst for personal growth. This is an opportunity to rediscover yourself, grow your mind, develop your personality, set new goals, and embrace the future.

Remember, healing is a conscious choice and it doesn’t just take time, it takes you doing your own inner healing and growth work. It’s okay to take things one day at a time but you must go within and look at yourself if you want to become a better person and grow from the experience. Surround yourself with positivity, and don’t hesitate to seek professional coaching help as most people need it to be able to move on as healthy, whole and complete human beings.

You may feel broken right now, but within that brokenness lies the potential for renewal. The truth is, the love you once shared was real, and though it has transformed, you can find hope and healing in this new chapter of your life. Embrace the journey ahead; as you can become wiser, smarter and more compassionate because you learnt from your challenges. There are brighter days on the horizon if you heal and grow.

If you’re navigating the pain of separation or divorce and want support in rebuilding your confidence, your life, and your sense of self – you don’t have to do it alone.

I support women just like you every day inside my RESET & SHINE program.

✨ Let’s chat about what’s possible for you.
📩 Send me a message or click here to book a free clarity call.

You deserve to feel seen, heard, and whole again.
Let’s help you shine.

Fiona x

Fiona May 🙏🏼❤️😀✅

Divorce Recovery Coach at Women On Transition