Divorce can be a profound turning point in a woman's life, especially for those navigating it in midlife. As divorce recovery coaches, we often encounter women who have spent years in relationships marked by the “fawning” trauma response (a pattern rooted in childhood wounds that leads to people-pleasing and self-neglect. While traditional therapy can provide some support, we believe that deeper healing is essential. That’s why we developed our CORE Healing method and why we recommend it for all separated and divorced women.

Many divorced Women suffer from “Fawning Trauma Response” so we need to understand what it is and how it impacts them if they are to overcome the challenges it presents.

The fawning trauma response is characterized by a relentless need to please others, often at the expense of one's own needs and desires. For many midlife women, this response is a learned behaviour from childhood, where safety, acceptance and being loved were tied to appeasing others.

This “learned behaviour pattern” takes a huge toll and makes a huge emotional impact on women for their whole lives.

The consequences of fawning can be significant:

- Low Self-Esteem: Women often struggle with feelings of worthlessness when their needs are sidelined.

- Anxiety and Depression: The pressure to maintain harmony can lead to chronic stress and emotional exhaustion.

- Identity Crisis: Many women find themselves disconnected from their true selves, leading to confusion and dissatisfaction.

When women suffer from any of these symptoms, traditional “Therapy” isn’t enough…

While many therapists offer valuable support, they may focus on surface-level issues without addressing the deeper wounds that drive the fawning response. This can leave women feeling stuck and unfulfilled, perpetuating cycles of self-neglect and unhealthy relationships.

To truly heal, women must heal at a much deeper level and address their core underlying issues as these are the root causes of their behaviour patterns. This is where our CORE Healing framework comes into play.

CORE Healing by Women On Transition is a holistic approach designed to help women confront and heal their childhood wounds and provide the tools and skills they need to create their post divorce life. It focuses on five key areas:

1. Cognitive Awareness: Understanding how past experiences shape current behaviours is the first step. Women learn to identify the patterns of fawning and how these patterns affect their lives and relationships.

2. Ownership: Taking responsibility for one’s feelings and choices is crucial. This involves recognising that it’s okay to prioritise one’s own needs and desires without guilt.

3. Resilience Building: Developing resilience helps women navigate challenges without reverting to fawning behaviours. This includes learning healthy coping strategies and building a supportive community.

4. Empowerment: Empowerment is about reclaiming one’s voice and sovereignty. Women learn to set boundaries, express their needs, and cultivate a sense of self-worth.

5. Be Relationship Ready. Women must understand why and how their relationship broke down, the part they played, the role of the masculine and feminine and how to cultivate an emotionally healthy relationship and attract the right partner when they are ready to date.

It is a journey of recovery, self discovery and reinvention.

At Women on Transition, we guide women through the CORE Healing process, helping them break free from the constraints of the fawning response. Our approach encourages deep self-exploration and healing, leading to transformative change.

The benefits of doing CORE healing are:

- Self-Discovery: Women reconnect with their authentic selves and rediscover their passions and desires.

- Healthier Relationships: By addressing underlying issues, women can build more balanced and fulfilling relationships.

- Increased Confidence: As women learn to prioritise themselves, they develop a stronger sense of self-worth and confidence.

We need to move beyond superficial advice and treat the real problems not just the symptoms.

The advice to simply "put yourself first”, “speak up” or "just say no" often falls short for women entrenched in fawning behaviours. CORE Healing goes beyond these surface-level suggestions, offering a comprehensive framework that addresses the root causes of these patterns.

Divorce can be a catalyst for profound personal growth and transformation. By embracing CORE Healing, midlife women can address their childhood wounds and break free from the fawning trauma response. This journey not only leads to emotional recovery but also fosters a deeper understanding of oneself, paving the way for healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life.

If you’re ready to embark on this transformative journey, we invite you to connect with us. Together, we can navigate the path to healing and your empowerment.

Fiona May and Sandra Lee x

Divorce Recovery Coaches at Women on Transition