There's no arguing: divorce is a major, major life change.

The end of a marriage after decades together leaves a big hole in your life.

The significant loss of love, family life, and wealth leave many women grieving from the experience after divorce.

It’s a struggle to live independently in middle age – sometimes for the very first time in your life. Navigating changing dynamics with children and others is not easy.

It's a lot of change happening all at once.

Is it any wonder you feel confused, disoriented and out of sorts…

It’s easy to focus on the loss and feel like a victim of your circumstances…

But at some point, you will realize that playing the victim is not helping you.

It's not helping you to make the best decisions for your future.

It's not helping you be your best around children or friends – and right at the moment when you can use their support and encouragement.

It's not helping you come up with unique and creative solutions to the challenges you face. And those challenges are very real.

Dropping victimhood and stepping into your own power is the best way handle the challenges you face.

When you see yourself as a victim, you are operating from a place of fear. And fear is that ancient, primal part of our brain where we make split-second decisions to fight, freeze, or flee.

It's NOT the part of the brain where we access our best problem-solving skills or creative thinking.

Getting out of victimhood and fear-based thinking will help you get through this. Here are some ideas for taking the change that divorce forces upon us and using it to creative positive change and transformation. I've seen this happen many, many times!

But it begins with healing and growing your mind so you can change your mindset and shift from being a victim in your life to a creator of a new empowering life.

You’ve got this!

Fiona May Steddy