Divorce for women over 50 can be the toughest and most challenging thing most women may ever have to face. The number is climbing swiftly as many divorced women find themselves with nowhere to turn to and no clue what to do with the rest of their lives.

The process of ending a marriage, especially a decades-long one, can definitely shake up your life in all aspects. From the financial to the emotional, there are many unexpected good lessons that divorce in later life has in store for us.

Discovering a Whole New Side of Yourself

Ending a decades-long marriage is traumatizing. For years we defined ourselves as wives, mothers, partners, and always as part of a unit. From an early age, we may have been taught that there was no greater goal for a woman to obtain, and so we dutifully carried out that role.

Then the divorce happened. We felt like our lives and world disappeared in a matter of seconds. Everything was in jeopardy and we felt like we lost a part of ourselves that would never return.

Yet, through the navigation of divorce, something started to happen. In a search for solace, we made the wise decision to do things to bring us comfort and joy. In an effort to not feel alone, we may have joined a book club or support group.

Maybe we started to spend more time with friends and relatives. Perhaps we pursued interests and hobbies that we felt we never could in our marriage. We may have returned to work.

At first, these things seemed scary because we were not used to them. But gradually, as we started to enjoy these new pursuits, we may have discovered that they were opening a door to a whole new world for us.

One where we could start defining ourselves as businesswomen, fierce gardeners, amazing friends, and world travellers. New, richer self-identities emerged that in an earlier life, we never thought possible.

Being Alone Can Be Amazing

One of the reasons many of us chose to stay in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship was that we did not want to be alone. We told ourselves that being with a partner, even if the love and respect we deserved were no longer there, was better than being with no partner at all.

However, as the divorce progressed, we may have noticed something happening. The house that we came home to was peaceful for once. Everything was where we had left it, without anybody to clean up after. There was no resentment to grow. We were able to read a good book on the couch. There was no worry about the TV blaring a sports game we never cared about.

We discovered that we liked coming and going as we pleased. There was no partner to worry about. The ability to set our own schedule and run our homes and lives without worrying about our spouse was liberating.

The ability to sit by ourselves, go places and explore the things that we wanted to do was wonderful. The feeling of freedom started to replace that fear of being alone. The panic of having nobody there faded. The pain of agonising about life without a partner dissolved.

You Are Stronger Than You Can Ever Imagine

Women over 50 do not give themselves the credit they deserve. We may have panicked during the divorce process. We may have spent sleepless nights thinking, “I built my life around this marriage and I have done everything for this partner. What on earth am I supposed to do without him? Where will I go?”

But a funny thing happens during the split. We figure things out. We don’t run to our partners, telling them “I have no idea what to do! Please come back to me!” Instead, we start researching our options. You are wise to contact divorce recovery coaches who can help you heal and move on in 3 months rather than 3 years... We can help you quickly and easily navigate the murky waters of divorce and come out even better than you could ever imagine!

When we started to panic about the financial aspect of things, we learned how to budget. We discovered how to save, how to cut back, and how to make things work for our lives, regardless of income.

Slowly but surely, day by day, before we even knew it, we were taking care of ourselves. We are making the best decisions for ourselves and for our future. Figuring out how to get our happiness back and reclaim our own lives becomes a priority.

Isn’t it funny how a major life change can transform us? Something we didn’t think we could ever survive, let alone prosper through, can mould us into the heroines we never knew we could be.

Divorce can help us learn unexpected lessons about ourselves. We discover our new identities, embrace our time alone, and realize our own strength. These are not only unexpected lessons from a divorce, but some of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What unexpected lessons have you learned along the way? What strengths are you discovering as you rebuild your life after divorce?

We are here to help the ladies who want to grow beyond their pain and transition through their divorce with grace and dignity.

I'd love to hear your view.
Fiona x