Do you have a nagging little voice in your head who is your own inner critic? Is your little voice saying nasty things about you and trying to limit what you say and do?

If you are conscious of your inner critic, you are not alone! Everyone has one and it often sabotages your success by stopping you from doing anything that it fears may be dangerous or unsafe. Whilst that's a good thing if you are in danger, it's not a great thing 90% of the time as it stops and limits you experiencing life and living in your true power.

Our inner voice is run on our fears.

Another name some people call our inner voice is our “monkey mind”. According to Buddhist principles, listening to our “monkey mind” often leaves us feeling unsettled, restless, or confused.

Your Monkey Mind is the part of your brain most connected to the ego, which contends that you can’t do anything right. It’s also the part of you that stifles healing and growth by preventing you from moving forward with your life and living passionately.

The monkey mind insists on being heard, and sometimes it takes a lot of self-control to shut it down. It is also the part of your brain that becomes easily distracted, so if you want to proactively create change, or get anything done in life, your challenge will be to shut down the monkey mind.

To turn off your inner critic you need to become grounded and calm the mind— by remembering to be present and focus on living in the here and now. Being present in this way is called mindfulness. It is an essential state for inspiring healing because it taps into the messages of your heart and soul.

Being mindful encompasses awareness, and interconnectedness between your inner and outer worlds. If you are more awake and alert, you can more easily receive messages from within as well as from the universe.

It's important to be mindful as we move about our days, whether we’re working, doing errands, or engaging in interpersonal relationships. Some of the characteristics of mindfulness also include being nonjudgmental, patient, accepting, trusting, and letting go.

So, how do you quieten your inner critic you might ask, as for a lot of women, it is a constant struggle. Listening to your little voice in your head often leads to low self-esteem and a lack of self-belief.

In the Shine Program, I teach ladies to powerfully quieten their mind in many useful ways.

One way is to sit still and learn to feel your feelings and how to truly love themselves. We also experience the profound difference that meditation and mindful breathing can bring to your life.

Being mindful gives you peace and boosts your energy.

Even though the mind is a wonderful thing left unchecked the voice in your head can get in the way of what your heart wants to say.

Generally, the voice is negative or too protective which leads to feelings of fear, guilt, anger, sadness, envy, and resentment, instead of a sense of lightness, joy, happiness, love, forgiveness and compassion. This voice often seems like a nagging negative parent or spouse who always puts you down and limits you.

Can you identify with this?

The ego has the ability to create false thoughts, which is the inner chatter we hear most often. In fact, we often need to tell this voice in our heads to “shut up.” Otherwise, we can become overwhelmed by these thoughts and lose touch with reality.

This is one reason why during meditation, it’s a good idea to let thoughts come and go, rather than becoming obsessed with them or focusing on anyone in particular. If we focus too intensely on our thoughts, there’s a greater chance that we’ll attract more of what we don't want.

When you get so caught up in your head, you lose touch with living in the here and now and feel very stuck.

Living in the present moment makes you more grounded and centered. It provides a calm emanation. When we focus on being present we experience the bliss and joy of that moment and see what our true essence is. In this way, we can release the demons that come along with our past worries, fears and stirred up by our monkey mind.

I encourage you to learn how to focus on the here and now. When you are fearful, try taking a few slow, deep breaths, and focus on your belly. What are you seeing, sensing, hearing, or intuiting at this moment?

Ask your body what you’re feeling.

Do you feel discomfort anywhere?

Does an image pop into your mind?

This is being body conscious.

Another activity I often use is to describe the person your mind thinks you are.

What do you look like?

What do you believe?

What is your connection with the universe or your loved ones?

Then have someone else describe you and how you show up.

Look to see if this person perceives you in the same way you perceive yourself?

Transition healing and growth allows you to control your monkey mind and ensure it doesn't control you. Message me if you'd love to learn how to silence your inner critic so you can be the best version of yourself possible.

Fiona May

Transition & Relationship Coach

Women On Transition