DIVORCE WOMEN LOOKING TO DATE - Listen UP!

I hear advice all the time that says you should REJECT ANY MAN WHO DOESN’T MEET YOUR STANDARDS…

What I OFTEN see happening is women rejecting good men because they are too scared to give them a go!

Women think they have the upper hand and have gotten GREAT at rejecting men because they don’t want to settle for less than they think they deserve, but often they are blind to how they are showing up and they sabotage their own success.

What they don’t see is the important GAP in their skill set that prevents them from attracting better men.

If any woman wants to attract men in the top 5% of available single men, she needs to become a 5% woman. That's actually becoming a MATCH for the kind of man she really desires!

I’ve noticed this happens because many women have a fundamental misunderstanding of what healthy men are looking for in a relationship, and it causes them to date in a way that attracts unhealthy men.

It’s not enough to look at the men you’re attracting and say “Nope, nope, not him, nope, next, I deserve better, nope, not him either”.

* You also have to be willing to look at YOURSELF…

* Look at what part of you gets triggered by him…

* Look at where you want to cut it off just so you don’t have to bear the uncertainty…

* Look at where you overlook red flags thinking it makes you a better person…

Without the introspection, you’re just going to keep attracting more of the same guys and it gets really hard to not be jaded when you keep attracting men who don’t meet your needs.

This is NOT about blaming yourself.

It’s about looking at your interactions and taking ownership of your part in them - and if you don’t know how to do it in a healthier way next time, get help! Work with me, I have programs and coaching for this!

Rejecting what’s not meant for you is only PART of the equation - becoming a match for what IS meant for you is the other piece!

Women ready to become their best selves and want to attract incredible, emotionally intelligent, masculine, commitment-minded men to create the relationship they desire when the time is right must properly prepare.

It probably seems ludicrous to you that you are single in midlife as you are such a good catch. Attracting an attractive, healthy, commitment-minded masculine man shouldn’t be so hard with all you’ve got going for you!

Frankly, you’re probably kinda bewildered that you’re even still single.

Here’s why even hot, smart, and successful women struggle to find their match:

It’s NOT because there aren’t enough quality men...

It’s NOT because dating apps have ruined dating...

It’s NOT even because men are intimidated by you...

It’s because without realising it, you’re actually pushing them away and operating from your INSTINCTS while dating.

NOTHING triggers our instincts quite like dating and relationships.

Add to that the social conditioning that tells us who we should or shouldn’t be while dating and my goodness… we’ve got some STUFF to contend with!

Most of your behaviour around dating is designed for survival, avoidance of pain, and instant gratification, whether you realise it or not.

And despite your deep desire for connection, your instincts and conditioning are taking you further AWAY from falling in love and partnering for the long haul with someone who’s truly compatible.

Why?

Because honestly your instincts want to keep you safe so you survive and procreate – that’s it.

Your instincts don’t know how to have a healthy relationship, let alone an extraordinary one.

Your INSTINCTS will actively AVOID an extraordinary relationship.

It’s not your fault, that’s just how instincts are and it goes back to the caveman days...

Societal conditioning only made things worse - we grew up in a society that based relationships on providing security and wasn’t based on love, commitment and co-creating a beautiful partnership. When men and women are in toxic relationships they oppose each other what’s not exactly conducive to an exceptional partnership you’re looking for!

Instincts and conditioning show up in a lot of ways.

* Such as getting overly attached to the wrong person before really even knowing if he’s compatible just because it FEELS good.
* Attracting men who don’t take the lead and getting really annoyed and pissed with him, or maybe even questioning if you’re the one who’s asking for too much
* Falling for the dazzle, being spoiled financially, the romantic words, the promises, and diving in—only to wind up heartbroken when he doesn’t follow through or there’s no real emotional connection
* Getting reactive and breaking things off because we can’t handle the uncertainty of the dating process, and finding flaws as an excuse to run
* Trying to impress him and show him you’re the perfect woman for him

We hide our cards out of fear of being hurt and then wind up with either men who want completely different things, or with a man who’s not in his masculine and doesn’t know what he wants.

All of these behaviours (and MANY more that are regular appearances on our dating playlist) will keep you alive, they’ll either protect you from some pain or at least soften the blow a bit - but they will not lead to you SHINING AND THRIVING in love.

So what’s a woman to do?

Let me help you, of course! I can help you with all this and more.

A taste of what we will be working on over the next 3 months:

* Re-wiring wonky intimacy patterns: you’ll learn how to have unshakeable self-confidence and truly love yourself so that you can confidently vet connections in a way that honours YOU first
* You’ll become happy in your own skin, handle your emotions, and know how to regulate your feelings so you aren’t stressed, busy, and depleted
* Be open to genuine, authentic intimacy with another - and know how to detect insincerity and choose the right men - you’ll be on FIRE when you learn how to do this!
* Learn to be a great communicator so you are always treated with respect and valued by quality people
* You’ll recognise your hidden triggers so that you’re able to be in your power and not lose your way
* You’ll become a better leader and role model processing from your heart and losing the need to judge
* you’ll be Feminine, soft and a divine woman without sacrificing your go-getter ambition, your intelligence, or your hard-won boundaries

Join the Shine Program and properly prepare yourself for a beautiful new life!

If you have any questions to help you figure out if this is the best next move for you, hit my name and send me a message and ask!

I’m on your side,
Fiona May

Here's some links to how you can work with me and my team: https://bit.ly/m/Women-On-Transition