Asking yourself if you've done enough work and Relationship Ready before stepping out is vital!

Often women jump into relationships or stumble across someone and start to date. They then spin out and are flooded by a million questions and their mind starts to go crazy.

They don’t know how to act or how to handle themselves and their emotions. All their senses are heightened, fear is pulsating through their bodies and it is a super stressful time.

They don’t know if they can trust, is he is the one, they over analyse and think about everything he says trying to work out what he means, if he likes them, is this the beginning of something or is he a liar, cheater, player or scammer…

Your old patterns will be brought up, your defences are in a state of heightened awareness and you heart and head will be in a whirlpool.

This is why it’s so important to be relationship ready and have done your work so you are prepared and equipped to handle dating and a relationship when a good ones come along, as you can easily stuff it up if you haven’t.

You also have to ensure that the man has healed and grown or else he will be carrying his baggage and it ends up being two wounded souls trying to create something together, and that can certainly happen and probably what happened in your past, as it’s easy to fall in love – but not all Love is equal!

When you are relationship ready you stand in your power and you are true and honest with yourself. You trust but you don’t have rose colour glasses on. You control your emotions and take the time to get to know each other. And you are confident and self assured and know if he’s not the right one for you, you make the call and you can just bless him and walk away. And when you do, it’s not because there’s something wrong with him, it’s because you are honouring your own needs and you don’t have to blame or make excuses.

Love should always be easy, not hard. We make it hard because we try to massage Love to be what we want it to be and we ignore the things we don’t want to see and we suppress our true feelings. Often we try to manipulate and change the other person because we need to be needed and we want to help and fix them. But this is not our work to do.

Your job and only business is to present yourself so you show up in your own authentic power, loving every part of yourself, knowing your strengths and weaknesses and be ready to come to a relationship to give to a man who is at the same level of consciousness as you and has the same desires as you.

We have to focus on ourselves, do our own work and are clear on what we will and won’t accept we are relationship ready. When you have this level of confidence, clarity and certainty you will attract the right man at the same level of consciousness and then you work together to create a partnership that works for both of you. You will both have your 6 human needs met from within the relationship and be committed to working together everyday by choosing each other. This isn’t at the expense of either of you as individuals, so hence the relationship is it’s own entity.

 

Fiona May 

Relationship and Transition Coach

Women On Transition

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