DON'T LET YOUR THOUGHTS RUN THE SHOW!

If you’ve ever caught yourself spiralling into fear, doubt, or overthinking, you know how convincing your thoughts can be.
They sound logical, familiar, even protective. But here’s the truth: most of your thoughts aren’t facts—they’re learned habits.
And if you’re not consciously choosing them, they’re choosing for you.

Our Minds are on Autopilot
Our minds are like well-trained computers running old software—programs written by childhood conditioning, cultural expectations, and painful past experiences.

Those early messages—“I’m not good enough,” “I shouldn’t want too much,” “Love always hurts,” “People always leave”—become beliefs we don’t even realise we’re still running.

Left unchecked, those beliefs dictate your emotions, your reactions, and your results.

They shape who you love, what you tolerate, how you spend your time, and even how much success or happiness you allow yourself to experience.

That’s why letting your thoughts call the shots is dangerous.
Because most of them were never truly yours to begin with.

You Are Not Your Thoughts
One of the most powerful shifts you’ll ever make is realising: you are not your mind—you’re the one observing it.

Your thoughts are simply stories your brain tells to make sense of the world. Some are useful. Others are outdated survival strategies.

But here’s the catch—your mind’s main job is to keep you safe, not fulfilled.

That means it would rather you stay small, predictable, and familiar than risk growth, vulnerability, or change.

It’s why you stay stuck in patterns you hate—repeating the same arguments, attracting the same partners, or sabotaging your own progress.

The mind whispers: Don’t rock the boat. Don’t risk rejection. Stay where it’s safe. But “safe” isn’t the same as alive.

The Cost of Staying on Autopilot
When we live by inherited beliefs, we don’t live as our true selves—we live as our programming.

And that programming has one job: repeat what’s known, even when it hurts.
That’s why you can know better intellectually, but still feel powerless emotionally.
It’s why you promise yourself you’ll never fall for the same type of person again… and then you do.

Until you take conscious control of your thoughts, you’ll keep re-living yesterday instead of creating tomorrow.

Taking Back the Driver’s Seat
To reclaim your power, you must learn to think about your thinking.

This is what emotional intelligence truly is—the ability to notice what’s happening inside your mind, challenge it, and choose differently.

You Can Learn To:
Notice the voice. When you hear thoughts like “I’ll never change” or “This is just who I am,” pause. Ask: Who told me that?
Challenge the story. Is this thought protecting me—or limiting me?

Reframe with truth. “This is new, not dangerous.” “Growth isn’t rejection—it’s redirection.” “I’m allowed to outgrow what once felt safe.”

Practice mental hygiene. Just like you clean your body daily, you need to cleanse your mind of repetitive, toxic thoughts. Meditation, journaling, therapy, or coaching help you reset your internal narrative.
Because if you don’t take the wheel, your autopilot beliefs will keep steering you toward the same old pain.

Reprogramming Your Potential
Every new belief begins as a conscious choice.
The moment you decide, “I’m no longer living from fear—I’m living from truth,” your brain starts rewiring itself to match that new reality.

You stop reacting and start responding.
You stop repeating your past and start creating your future.
Your mind becomes your ally instead of your enemy.
This is your reminder: your thoughts don’t get to define you—you get to define them.

You were never meant to be a passenger in your own mind.
You were meant to be the driver—awake, aware, and intentional.
Break the patterns.

You need to question everything you were taught, everything you believe, and everything you have experienced. As a grown ass woman, you need to take off the little girl shoes you are wearing and trade them in for new ones without the past programs.

You can learn to choose beliefs that align with the woman you’re becoming, not the one you were taught to be.

Because when you take back control of your mind, you take back control of your life. And that’s where true freedom begins.

By Fiona May, Divorce Recovery & Life Transition Coach